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Writing Critique Expand / Collapse
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Posted 3/10/2010 7:58:36 AM


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Aside from grammer errors, it is a really nice start. It doesn't seem like it will be one of those typical horse stories. It was intriguing, suspenseful, and I'll even admit was a little scared at the end. But I get scared easily, so.... lol!

*Amanda*
*Previously HorseMystique*


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Post #1341191
Posted 3/11/2010 11:41:02 AM


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HorseMystique (3/10/2010)
Aside from grammer errors, it is a really nice start. It doesn't seem like it will be one of those typical horse stories. It was intriguing, suspenseful, and I'll even admit was a little scared at the end. But I get scared easily, so.... lol!

Thanks! All the stuff I have writen before was always "typical" horse storys so I tryed to be different this time.

Sierra and Prancer



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Post #1341663
Posted 3/11/2010 11:42:04 AM


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horcluvr99 (3/9/2010)
~Horsefeathers15~ (3/9/2010)
horcluvr99 (3/9/2010)
~Horsefeathers15~ (3/9/2010)
horcluvr99 (3/9/2010)
~Horsefeathers15~ (3/9/2010)
horcluvr99 (3/9/2010)
[quote]~Horsefeathers15~ (3/9/2010)
[quote]horcluvr99 (3/9/2010)
Love it. A few spelling/grammar errors, but otherwise great. I love the suspense and cliffhangers. Also, I'm wondering, where is the story's setting? In Texas? Hawaii? It probably comes later on, but that left me wondering. Overall, it's great, I would definetly read a book like this.

I actually am working on the setting. I think I will make it a small backwoods town.

oooooooooohhhhh sounds intrestin[/quo

Are you being sarcastic?

Sorry about that. Some people on here are so...sarcastic. Small back wood towns are very interesting...I should know...I live in one. lol

Yes, some are, and it get confusing because you can't tell when it's all virtual... o lucky... I live in a city. And my horse lives 20 min. away. :(

That stinks. Prancer lives 5 min.away.lol

*jealous* haha

lol she used to be 35 min away I couldn't stand it. I admire you.

Sierra and Prancer



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Post #1341664
Posted 3/19/2010 6:00:21 PM


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I liked it very much! As was said, just the few grammar and punctuation errors.
Is it going to follow both Hanna and Roxy?

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Post #1346200
Posted 3/19/2010 6:14:24 PM


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The idea is great really.

It's confusing how you how two shifts of views so close to one another. Consider adding more details and scenes with the girls who was sleeping, and a tiny bit more info with the horses in the barn.

I like your cliffhanger endings!

:]

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